Ever seen this hilarious clip of Homer Simpson about alcohol?
Yeah… that’s kinda how I feel as an author about the internet sometimes.
Ahh, the internet. To be honest, I can’t imagine being an author without it. How did writers manage to do their research without it, back in the day?
I mean, I know how they did it. They went to the library. They went undercover with the cops. They consulted experts. They talked to people who lived the things they wanted to write about.
Which I do, too. (Well, maybe not the library one. Or the cops one. Yet.) But wow, it must have taken SO much time, and so much effort. It’s no wonder that most successful authors in the past were people (mostly men) with money, and time to do this stuff.
But me? Now, if I need to find a person who has lived through something I want to write about, I can connect with someone online. If I need to find out a fact, or a date, or something like that, there’s Google. If I need to watch an open-heart surgery, I can even do that, on YouTube! It’s amazing! For someone who has a thirst for knowledge like me, it’s a fantastic tool. Not to mention, it certainly speeds up the research process. It used to be that writing a book a year was lightning-fast. I wrote six books last year alone. And that’s not even that fast, by romance author standards.
So, the solution to all my problems, right?
Yeah… Except… Facebook. And Twitter. And all the news and information sources I read. And the cat videos people send me. And… and… and…
And this blog. Seriously, I AM SUPPOSED TO BE WRITING CHAPTER SIX OF BEAST RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Damn, the internet is a DISTRACTION! It’s such a distraction that I literally came on the internet to whine to all of you about what a distraction it is — hence, it has just become even more of a distraction. And let’s not even get started about the rabbit holes I frequently fall down when I’m doing research for something. What I think will be a simple search can turn into an hour-long fact-finding mission. Or, I will find the information right away, but the article it’s in is so fascinating that I have to read the whole thing, and then it links to something else that’s even more interesting. And when I’m done with that, I just HAVE to get on Facebook and share this cool thing I’ve just learned…
And then I’m back in social media hell.
What is the point of all this rambling?
It’s mostly just a vent. Which the internet is GREAT for, too. If I didn’t have it right now, I wouldn’t have anyone to complain to, at all. (Except my cats, and they don’t care.)
Except… if there wasn’t internet, I wouldn’t be wanting to complain about the internet…
Okay. Back to work. For real, now.
(This rant brought to you by the Daphne Loveling Society for Useless Internet Rants.)